#Covidtime Log Day: 01272021
I'm friends with a group of women from the Bay Area (mostly queer women) that I've known since I was 25. I had been in contact with only a few of them over the years. Time, distance, and breakups usually cause friendships to slowly slip away. My friend Chicken (Cris Wentz) suddenly passed away last October, and a group of 10-12 of us were thrown back together in a group chat. It was organized so we could share our thoughts and memories of a person we were all connected to in some way or another in life; and had inadvertently reconnected us in their death. The reason we all became friends 20 years ago was mainly because of Chicken.
I would imagine 2020 wasn't an easy year for many people. But, I can say that my 2020 was pretty torturous.
It's hard to even wrap my mind around the amount of change, grief, and brokenness I've endured in 2020. One starts to wonder if the Universe hates them. Supposedly if you're a spiritual person that the Universe dislikes a void and usually will fill it up with something. I guess, the upside to all the loss is the gains. The pandemic has given me an opportunity to strengthen my relationship with my family. To be more intentional with how I try to connect with my current friends. And, I've also rebuilt old connections with people who I didn't even know I needed in my life. There is something comforting in reminiscing with old friends about fun adventures, immature mistakes, and wacky events of the past when our present reality seems so unsure and scary.
I'm not going to sugar coat anything. This past year has been one flaming turd after another, but it wasn't all terrible. There is so much growth that can happen inside of oneself if we are open to letting go of the outcomes. Something that I started saying in 2020 was, "Embrace the suck." I didn't really know what else to do. Living through a global pandemic has slapped reality across my face. I realize how much control we don't have. The only thing that I've been able to do, that has helped get me through all of this, is give it up to the Universe. Get a good nights sleep and drink lots of water. Accept whatever happens and live my life the best I can every day. And, be grateful everyday that I'm healthy and alive.
#FlannelDiaries #QueerLife #MidwestQueerLife #QuarantineDiaries #QuoteFridays #DeepThoughts #TheUniverse #GlowUp #QueerGlowUp
A New Day. A New Administration. A New Outfit.
#Covidtime Log Day: 01202021
I've started and stopped writing this entry a few times. Yesterday, I wasn't very motivated to be inspirational, but today is the Inauguration of President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris. I feel it's important to remember this day and how it makes me feel and how I've felt about the last four years. It's been a coo-coo for coco puffs, bonkers shitshow of a dumpster fire administration and that's a nice way to describe it. I've always respected the office of the President, but #45 just put a huge stain on that position. He was the epitome of what is wrong with this country. The entitlement and white male mediocrity on display for four years was a slap in the face of Black, Indigenous, and communities of color. His policies tried to turn this country back 70 years and at every turn made lives of people like me more difficult and frightening. Its been a really messed up four years. Just saying.
You can say what you want about the economy or your taxes however Obama inherited a recession and left office with a strong economy. Just like anything The Donald does he didn't do anything to make our lives better, he upheld the status quo and made lives of billionaires better. If you feel that you've benefitted from that it's most likely because we've continued to pay low wage workers the same while CEOs, and stock holders make more. There's nothing wrong with progressive polices, they have brought this country to where we are today. Weekends, social security, and integrated schools.
Having the first woman Vice President, who is both Black and Indian is huge. It tells women and girls everywhere that you can aspire for one of the highest offices in the land and achieve it. Especially for Black and brown girls everywhere. That is a big fricken' deal.
Sometimes I get tired of fighting for the integrity of this country. As President Biden says, "Saving the soul of this nation." We all aspire to be great, and we can be great. We just have to allow ourselves to realize that our words and actions matter. Mistakes have consequences. Words of hate and inciting violence has consequences. We are a free people, but we are not free from being held responsible for hurt and harm of others.
If we truly want to become this unified nation we want to become. We need to first demand bravery and hope from ourselves!
#Covidtime Log Day: 01132021
My housemates have been using Blue Apron, but Hello Fresh offers a free trial and so there was an executive decision made to switch over. Supposedly, Hello Fresh is healthier and uses less packaging. I will say it wasn't terrible I actually enjoyed the Pecan Crusted Salmon with a side salad and roasted potatoes. I think if you're not a good cook it's a great way to cook for yourself and maybe one other person. It does also offer servings for four and not just for two. You get three dinners, so at least you don't have to think about what to cook 3 nights out of the week. I am not sponsored or getting paid to give my review of Hello Fresh, I just didn't have anything else to talk about today. I guess if you're single you can stretch it out over 6 nights and order pizza on the 7th. If I'm lazy and don't want to cook I will order a pizza, who doesn't?
I'm always most productive after a breakup. I usually do a lot of cleaning, organizing, and cooking. Is that weird? My friend thinks I should get a wintertime hobby, like sword making or soap carving. Instead I'm assembling furniture, and reorganizing the garage. The garage is slow going since it's frigid outside hence the garage is also very cold. But, I may start learning how to build furniture, so there needs to be some room in the garage for more tools and building materials. I'm not going to be too ambitious, mostly see if I can build a desk or platform bed. Those two things seem fairly easy. I don't really need a new desk or platform bed, but it seems like a good place to start.
Anyway, 2021 is going pretty slow. We're two weeks into January and it feels like the longest two weeks. It's amazing how we could slowdown time more than it already was in 2020. I didn't think that was possible. But, here we are. I do feel like things are on an upswing, so that's a positive. More people are getting vaccinated, the President was impeached a second time, and it seems more people are realizing that white supremacy is scary and can no longer be ignored. Being kind doesn't mean being weak. It doesn’t mean not having boundaries or lacking courage. We must always be kind to ourselves first before we can be kind to others. Holding other people accountable for hurting or harming you is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.
