Flannel Diaries: One Butch Lesbian's Perspective of our World
Infograph credit: Butch Wonders at butchwonders.com
Here we go.
I, Cumberbund Vanderbutch, has embarked on the noble task of putting a website together dedicated to the stunning, confident, unconventional masculine presenting women, gender queers, and gender non-conforming folks. Sex (what's on my birth certificate), gender (what roles I'm playing in society), and sexuality (who we desire, love, sleep with) are three separate categories. When we mash all those three categories together it confuses everything and everyone. If you're born with a penis, you are male, and should be heterosexual (attracted to females). If you're born with a vagina, you are female, and heterosexual (attracted to males). However, that is super suffocating and gender identity is fluid and isn't always attached to what is on your birth certificate or who you want to f#@k. I may be categorized as a butch lesbian, but when it comes down to it I'm just Cumberbund Vanderbutch and I will present how I choose to present in the world, sorry, not sorry if that freaks some folks out.
I was having a conversation with some friends about how often people call me sir, and how I've been trying to understand what it means to be a butch lesbian in 2016. It's different, but the same as it was when I cam out in the 90s. Back then I was trying to figure myself out, trying to understand what my look and style should be. Should it be: flannel shirts, mullets, and wallet chains (not knocking it down)? I sort of had a mullet when I was 13, but that's debatable. I do wear a lot of flannel and I did have a wallet chain in the 90s. You try on a lesbian uniform realize it's not your bag and you move on to something else.
I grew up in Northern California, specifically the Bay Area. I started going out clubbing at 17, and saw the multitude of styles and ways of being and identifying in the LGBTQ community. I've always had kind of long hair growing up, except that time I had the home-haircut bob in the 2nd grade, and the weird perm my whole family got when I was 11, but other than that I had long hair until my twenties. Dresses, and pencil skirts were never my thang. When my mother would buy me dresses to wear I tolerated them for her, but inside I hated it. I did like them on other people. They looked great on other people. I was more of a fan of my brother's hand-me-downs. It wasn't till I cut my hair short that I started to really figure out my style and how I wanted to present myself to the world. It wasn't some grand political statement I was making against patriarchy or supporting patriarchy by identifying as a butch lesbian. I just felt more comfortable in jeans, t-shirts and button ups. It was really that simple.
I think butch lesbians get this bad rap, as if were scary or something (maybe some, not all). Some things I've heard about butch lesbians:
It also seems butchey lesbians like lists. No, not necessarily. Just me. Well, most everyone likes lists, it's cleaner and easier to remember things that way.
There's this article I thought was really interesting, because now that I live in this big small town in the mid-west I rarely if ever see butch/genderqueer/masculine presenting women bopping around town. It would be cool if there were more, I think we are super cool. I'm biased. I tell my friends in the Bay that I am a unicorn here in my big small town. A butch brown unicorn. Here's the article: "Where have all the butches gone?
This website blog is a platform for satire/truelife/nuggets-of-wisdom amalgamation of experiences all wrapped up in a pretty gender-neutral colored bow. Enjoy!
If you have anything you have to add to the conversation, or any questions, please don't hesitate to comment below!
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